As I clean the “mystery goop” from my sectional couch I can’t help but reflect on how much our priorities have changed since having children. The condition of our once spotless leather sectional with ottoman gives a good indication. I often talk about my couch, I think because I see it as a symbol of my previous life. When my husband and I moved in together we both dreamed of having a big sectional couch. I pictured us lying in front of the TV, cuddling up. I think he pictured surround sound and Die Hard, but it didn’t matter. We went to the furniture store and immediately were sucked in by the salesman and the giant leather couch. This would be the biggest purchase we ever made together at that point. We went home and thought about it. We went back the next day and signed up for the store credit card to begin making payments on our magnificent couch. When it was delivered we laid on it feet to feet it seemed so big. We admired it all the time.
Now I’m not saying the world is an awful place. Quite the opposite in fact. But I do believe that as you grow, you eventually loose the child inside until you experience life, only to find it once again. I found it because of you. Others may find it in a different way. Because of you, I know that I had it. The person I always wanted to be, I already once was. Honest, kind, fun, and adventurous. When I was your age I didn’t care what I looked like, or whom I hung out with. I bet I just wanted to experience life with whoever was up for it. I try to remember this when you ask me to build a sand castle in the back yard, or build a “tippy tall tower” out of giant blocks. What that means to you is far different than what it means for me. You become a knight looking for a dragon. You become a builder, or a monkey washing the windows of a skyscraper. There is a quote I love that says, “Boys live adventures that men only dream of”. I want you to know this for certain. You are having a wonderful time being a boy, and you are determined to experience one hell of an adventure. Know this when you are older, and find it once again.
There are many quotes and sayings about children, particularly little boys. They say little boys are like superheroes in disguise. But I think it’s the other way around. I think little boys make their mommy’s into superheroes. We can heal the worst of boo boos with our kiss. We can read their minds, and predict what will happen next. And because of them we can transport ourselves anywhere. Just today I was inside a blanket volcano, and because of my super powers I never got burned. Tomorrow I am promised a trip to Ninjago City. I am told it is fun and has slides, but first I must fight snakes. Being a superhero is hard work. I try to remember this when I have a difficult day with my son. That if I play my cards right, and keep fighting off the snakes for him, that one day when he’s older he just may trust in me enough to save him when he needs me. Just like he has saved me, over and over and over again.
I recently wrote a piece about a really bad day I had with my son. I never shared it because the negativity factor was off the charts and I was so stuck in it, I couldn’t see the positive side, even after taking time and reflecting to write down my thoughts. Here is how it started: